Monday, January 17, 2005

Warm thoughts

Back in the Sunshine, and warmth. I must say that my traveling is anyways an adventure, but that is alright with me. I am glad for a the chances that come from it.
I am glad to be back, to what feels so normal that I am. I mean when I am going back and forth everything seems to be outta place, and nothing is just how it was, and the people are all so different. This time everything is just in the right place, and nothing seems different than it should. I must admit the train at seven in the morning was something I forgot about, and I am thankful I didn't have one back home. It isn't the most normal way of waking up.
I have gained back a lot of what I thought I lost. Being away from certain things, as made it a lot easier for me to be myself, and not have to cover what I don't want them to take. I think that life as this way of providing an outlet that lets you go more than one way. Even if there only seems to be one way, that there truly is a different way. Most of the time I am blind to anyway but one. I am not interested in finding a different way, or making things work any way but the way I want and think that they should. I am thinking about looking for the other way all the time. No matter what the way I see is, I think that I should go the way that I don't always see, and make myself notice the other direction. Focus the things that I am not always willing or needing to see, but truly want to work at seeing. I am wondering how that will work. I mean that if I am going to go the way I don't always see, then how am I going to find that way, and will that become the way I start to see things in the first place, instead of how I normally would?