Wednesday, July 20, 2005

accomplish impact

Lately I have this strong desire to accomplish something. I feel like I have to be able to check something off my list, to feel like I have done something that day. Having this mind set is good for getting things done, but it is often the times that I become grouchy, and I loose relationships. I really do have a lot of things that are not getting done, because I have been so cross tracked. That is the one thing that I can not stand about being in Wyoming and a small town. I hate going somewhere, anywhere and not getting out of there for at least 20 minutes, because there was someone there that wanted to talk to you. That is the hardest thing for me, and one of the things I love most about the city. I love being anonymous, in a world of strangers (even if they are familiar). I know that I accomplish a lot more that way. I need to get things done, and that is the reason for the lists, and the fact that I forget a lot, but I like to see that I have done something. I guess it all goes back to think that I am wasting so much time. That I drive circles at work with no challenge to my mind, or abilities, so on my days off that is what I long to have. I just want to feel like I have made more of an impact for a day. The impact that would mean the most wold totally be the relationship one that I end up putting on hold when I have the lists. I see that I do these things but I know that I want things to get done. I need to have a lot of the things get done, so I think some things can wait. I just need some time alone, and some time to get things done.