tick tick tick

I am not sure of the time. It passes but I never know just want I am doing. It seems that I am loosing time, so much of it. I like to do things when I am in the mood to do them. If I want to go for a run at midnight then I would like to do be able to, or even bake a cake at six in the morning. I just like to do things on my time, and not when it seems good for others. I have come to find that I am not aware of time like I used to be. I went through a stage where I was very into time management. I had each and every minute of my day planned. This was not going time management skill for me. I would become frustrated if something was not accomplished but according to my time planner it was time to move on. I think that now I am loosing time because I am not paying attention to the clock. I am wasting what people think is time. With my shift work, and 12 and a half hour days it makes it hard to do things on the nation's clock. I really feel like I accomplish a lot within a day that I have off. It might be at hours not everyone would be able to agree with, but it passing the time for me. It is loosing it and I am able to do things when I feel like it. I suppose that is why I have started to just sit and read, or knit. I even sat there this morning once my room was picked up, I sat there to just think. I know that is something I do a lot with my loosing time. I think about a lot of different things. It is hard to not when sitting in a truck that long, talking to yourself. Sometimes the thoughts are of how I am wasting more time than I am spending. But then I think about how isn't everything loosing time in its own way. If you think about how when you do something you don't enjoy it is loosing time that could be done for something you enjoy. BUT if you are doing something that you enjoy isn't it loosing time for something you need to do. I suppose the time and keep passing, and I can loose it for my relationships, events and plans, but overall I might gain something more with an hour of lost time.