Monday, August 01, 2005

Yeah I need the size of your age

There is something about having people that are younger than me, help me in stores that makes me feel awkward. In some ways it makes me feel really kinda old, and the other half is that I feel like they are treating me downward. For me it is hard to take a 15 year old girl serious, when she asks me with I need help. She might know more about the store, but I wonder what she needs help with. Then to think that here I am using my credit card, but they are not even able to apply for one. I have had a job since I was 15, but I never thought about what the older people thought about me helping them. I was in customer service within a pharmacy, which is a lot more risker than selling them some clothes. I think that I feel old by it because I just remember having to work from school to work, or having my parents pick me up afterwards. Then it makes me think about how much I have grown up since then. Feeling awkward might just be because I am not used to seeing the younger people, or having them help me. Maybe I just feel like someone older is wiser than me, so they are going to be able to help me better. I am probably just thinking that I don't want these "little kids" judging me. That was what I was super quick to do at their age, so why would they not be passing judgment on me, and the things I am purchasing. I suppose that I should just except the fact that someone younger will be helping me as I get older. I suppose it is just the idea, that someone like them, hasn't been where I am. I will get over it someday, and that someday the younger kids will learn how to not treat people down. It seems like just because I am a teenager they would be able to interact, but it just isn't possible with them. That right there is probably my biggest problem with the whole fact. Each person that helped me, that was younger was not able to look me in the eyes, or be assertive enough to ask the typical questions. Maybe I just expect to much from service I receive, or maybe I have done it so I want to get back a lot. It seems that I might feel old and awkward, but I am mainly placing that on myself, or just the fact that I am seeing myself as older. I know that I will get out of this stage of uncomfort, because soon enough it will be everyone within the work force being younger than me.