Sunday, April 17, 2005

Weak me Up

I have remembered that it is a lot easier for me to write things than the speak them. Hint the name of my blog.... because I say things that I shouldn't, or just in a tactless way.
School is almost ending, and I am still way behind on everything for just about any class. I really need to work on my weaknesses...
From a personality test that I took a few weeks ago some of them were....
Lacks self-motivation
Hard to get moving
Resents being pushed
Indifferent to plans
Too compromising
Priorities get out of order
Scares others off
Has restless energy
Makes excuses
Yes there are MANY more, and the majority of all of them hold true.
So I am confused on how I should make myself a better person.... do I need to make my strengths, stronger or turn my weaknesses into strengths? Or do I accept that this is who I am, and that neither are going to change.
Does it mean something that I have three personalities, I ranked in 3 of them all so closely. I think it means I am a combination of all 3, but normally you are only of 2. Maybe I am still discovering this new person that I am becoming....
It seems like I am able to except all of the weaknesses, but have problems excepting the strengths...
Maybe I just need to write again, get into my thoughts, and know that something will come of the person I am becoming. Maybe I should give it time to grow and work on just being the strengths I want to be, and getting rid of the weaknesses I hate to have. But is it really that simple to just say I hate to be indecisive so I am going to be able to pick what I want, or what to do now.... I struggle with choice constantly....
Growth of a personality is a process.... I am just a work in progress....

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

when eye turn on you

My eyes are going to be scratched out of their sockets. Tears keep on falling, and the burliness gets worse with each one.
I blame it on allergies, and this dang Arizona growth season that never ends. I can handle the stuffy head, runny nose, and headache but my eyes are getting the better half of me.
No makeup, not even the little that makes it look like I am wearing none. It would be to much of a mess, when I give into the itches. I would not only be the bloodshot eyed girl, but the bloodshot eyed girl with black down her cheeks, not just under her eyes.

I am blank for ideas on what to write about. It seems like my eyes are the best thing I have to write about now. What else is there...
school--- consumes my almost every awoken moment
sleep---- all that I really want to do

I could write about the articles I have read online, or the thoughts in my head.... but that has been done before...
so for now it is about my eyes that enable me to see.. that might not last much longer.