Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I had to start over on this blog a few times, because my mood is just a bit off. I feel like sharing a lot that I would not normally. It might be because I am just at a place of unsureness (yes, I know that is not a word). It seems like I am questioning a lot, but I am unsure of what they are and why I am...
I lost my place, but I am close behind... so I am going to end before I begin...

Sunday, June 26, 2005

if it plays again

I am now working nights. I have 2 left actually. It is really hard for me not to think that it is 8 at night when I get off. I don't mind the nights, nor do I mind the days. I just have a hard time listening to the radio. There are Sirius radios in the majority of the trucks. I enjoy the station left of center, it plays emo and indie. My problem with any of the over 100 stations is that they play the same songs over and over much like the regular radio. I think that the radio needs to discover that there are a lot more songs but certain artists, or that just because they made it popular doesn't make the song good. I like to scan over the channels once 3 or 4 am rolls around just to keep myself awake, because there isn't much else to do. I suppose that hearing the same songs all summer won't kill, it is the boredom of the job that would. Plus the channel that only plays Elvis has less choices than the others, why not call the station "Broken Record" cause that is what almost every channel is.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Originally uploaded by jjjanelle.
If I was still in Arizona it would be the first day of summer still, although I am not so I am about 40 minutes past it. I must say it was a day of summer. Some things that make me think of summer are peaches, lemonade, and mowing the lawn. I did eat a peach, and have some lemonade, but I did not make it to mowing the lawn, but plan on doing that tomorrow. I think that it really is summer all year long in Tempe, so it is hard for me to get excited about the sunshine, or the 90 degree temperatures like most of the people here. I am even at the point where I did not think that it was hot. I do enjoy the summer days. It is like a sunshine day... I think I will go for a walk outside... the summer sun's calling my name... EVERYBODY's smiling... Sunshine day!
I would listen to Summertime by Mae, and I also enjoyed to make other because it was the summer solstice.
"Here we are, here we are,
windows down we see a falling star.
Stop the car.
Waiting for nothing but our beating hearts, going far.

Oh, the summertime.
So feel the air, feel the air,
take the map and point to anywhere.
I don't care. Fingers through your hair,
the sky I've seen is blue and green.
Oh, the summertime."

It was just like the days of clear skies that you were able to see the stars, just like all the years I remember. The air crisp and clean. I was riding my bike, and it just seemed like a day for anything. I think that summertime is about that. It was also one of those days that anything could happen and it makes it just perfect.
It is interesting that for me that little thing was being called something by someone that I wasn't used to hearing. It was set, but I just am not used to being referred to by that name that is set aside. It was like a summertime feeling that came over me and meant so much, even though I never thought that I would because of one word.
Oh the Summertime!

Monday, June 20, 2005

cut open the cricle...

Summer is going faster than it came. In so many ways I am glad about this, but in others I am not. I have just been working a mindless job at the coal mine. I drive a 240 ton haul truck. Somedays it is filled with coal, other days dirt. It is like the circle of no return. People that work out there do it end up there for the rest of their lives. The benefits are good, and considering the challenge of work (no much) the pay is good. My dad has worked out there and done driven truck for 16 years, and after a mere 8 days of 12 hour shifts, driving alone, my respect level and appreciation for what he gives me has gone up. He knows that he doesn't want his kids out there, but he does it in order to provide more for us. I am able to go to college, and do things because of him. It is a circle of trucks with no end, or return because the guys that work out there do so to provide or because they do no have education, so a haul truck anyone with half a mind could drive is what they do. The hardest thing for me about it, is that you can't even have a decent conversation with the people out there because they do not think. It is a the WYOMING, Republican outlook on life and there isn't much past getting a new lumber store in town. It is one of the most narrow minded places I have been. It is like the people are scared to go against what is told of them, and that they don't know better since the majority start when they are around 20 and leave then they are old enough, or have enough years in to retire. I must admit that if it wasn't for the coal mines, Wyoming would be nothing. They are the biggest resource, and provide the most money for the economy. I know that the company I am now working for provides me with money for college, with a scholarship last year and then again one this year if I complete the entire summer SAFELY. It is like they are trying to provide outlets to get the family members something better. I know that the jobs out there can't last forever, sooner or later the coal will be gone. Each day I think about a more productive way of removing the coal that would be quicker and not as much damage to the land.
For now though I am glad for the chance to make the money, and to help provide Wyoming with its life. I know that I have a limited time to drive in circles, and that my last day is marked on the calendar, but for others it isn't. I have to return to the life that I would rather live.