Saturday, May 10, 2008

a little something

A little somethings happened this week.
Little something one.



I got a new camera. It is a Nikon D40, so a simple digital SLR. Which is just what I have wanted since my film SLR body got a crack in the mirror.

Another little something is...My finance graduated from ASU with a BS in chemical engineering.. Congrats Jesse! (He even wore a tie for the occasion)

A little somethings I am looking forward to
Sex and the City movie
SOMEDAY owning one beautiful chairs

Eames Lounge Chair and Ottoman -Herman Miller



Eames Molded Chairs- Herman Miller..
Let's just day I have been on Ebay looking at furniture.. I get annoyed when it is in the "Eames era" just so when people search for Eames, they get all these other things...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

celebrate life

I wore green today because I got new shirt that happened to be green. Everyone that I was wearing it because it was earth day.
So here I am to share a few sites to celebrate the earth!
Household Items

Getting rid of junk mail



I also would like to give a big congratulation to my sister and her husband. They are new proud parents to a beautiful baby girl, Addison Cambria.


I spent the weekend over there visiting my little niece. She has the family chin that is for sure. Butt chin! Good thing my dad is so excited about being a grandpa or pappy as we are calling him, he is the reason for the chin.
Congrats John and Kim!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Please consider...

One of my colleagues told me that I should put, Please consider the environment before printing this email. as part of my signature. I agreed but because I am a designer she said that I need to have a photo of a tree. I have to make sure I do not use copy-righted images so I drew one in Photoshop.
Here is my tree.

Not to shabby for my first time with Ink. Although there is no ground and the trunk is a bit fat and awkward.
It does make you think though. I usually have to print sample, as I do mostly print pieces. The recycling bin always has more in it than the trash. To me that is a good thing.
Now if I could only recycle my snotty tissues that I have been filling the trash with the past week. Although, I would not want the job of sorting through snotty tissues in the recycling center. As long as you do not use Kimberly-Clark products (Kleenex, Scott, most large places TP and paper towels). Check out Greenpeace about how she refuses to use recycled paper in her products.
In other news. I went to my first ASU sporting event tonight. It was a men's basketball game. I did not wear gold. I did a small amount of clapping. My first event was after I had graduated. I suppose I held off enough of the time. Did I mention that it welcomed me on the jumbotron? Well faculty and staff.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Earth Hour

Check out this site.
http://www.earthhour.org/

I think that it is a great idea to turn everything off for an hour. It seems so hard to do at times. Something I know I do way to often is leave my computer on sleep, or leave a light on when no one is home. There are so many ways that each person can save.
Reduce, reuse, recycle.

I am always attempting to reduce. I have started to take shorter showers, which isn't easy every morning. I also am going to start turning things off each and every night. I used to leave a light on each night, because I get up at least once a night. Now I have an LED light night to show the way.

I will be turning off my lights at 8 pm on March 29 and I encourage everyone else.
Just thing *Its a small world after all*

Thursday, January 17, 2008

new Love



 I haven't written in a while because I have been having a lot of changes and finding time to do simple things is becoming more difficult.  I am an university grad. Full time employee. bride to be. 

My new love enter my world tonight. I am typing from the keys of a new MacBook. 



It was excitement and glee from my face when opening the box. 





Then i must ponder a name for this new joy in my life. 

Thus I need your help.... Suggestions/ideas for a name for this new love.... 
   (good ring shot!) 

oo yes... our wedding site is www.jesseandjanelle.com    check it out! Many thanks to my bro for all his help with it!! 




Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Final Coutdown

I hope everyone had a yummy Thanksgiving. I was able to go up to Wyoming and spend time with my parents. It was very VERY cold up there compare to what I am used to. I must admit that I went shopping on Black Friday. The good news is that I only purchased gifts and nothing for myself. I missed out on Cyber Monday but I suppose that is alright because I almost have all my gifts.

I am on my way to becoming an Arizona State University graduate.
I have 4 things due, 2 of which would not hurt my grade if I did not do. Seems crazy that I count down by how many things I have left, but that is because I have 2 online classes. If I was to count classes, I have 2 classes left. One which is a reflection class with a paper due, and one which is a 25 point quiz.

After I graduate, I have a job set up on campus as a graphic artist. I must admit that I am nervous and excited. I will not be walking for graduation, because of my college. I am okay with that because when you go to a large university it would be an entirely way to long of time. I will however be entering into a cubical that does however have a door!

Just a quick update! I have photos of my wedding location that I will post soon, the disappointment is that they were taken in the fall. I will be there in the heat of the summer. But the area is beautiful just the same!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Records

November

6
Partly Cloudy
Actual: 94 | 64
Precip: 0.00
Average: 79 | 53
Precip: 0.02


There has been many records set here in the Arizona in the time that I have been here. My first year here it broke the record for the most rainy days a year. My 3rd year it had the most days straight without rain. And this year it has broken all the heat records. Above is the temp from like 2 days ago.
So much for fall here.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

FALLing in love

Food in the Fall makes me FALL in love...
Here are some of my new and old favorites of fall..
•Pumpkin Cream Cheese (Einstein's Bagels carries it starting Sept. 1st!)
•Pumpkin Pancakes, I had some at IHOP a couple weeks ago! YUM YUM YUM
•Apple Cider
•I made a fun fall trail mix
Banana Chips
Pumpkin Seeds
Pretzels
Fall M and Ms
Candy Corn
Raisins
•Apple Sauce (Sunflower Market has the BEST organic apple sauce)
•Pears
•Crock Pot Meals (Sesame Ginger Chicken = yummy and simple)
•Pumpkin Ale (Although I have not tried it yet, I just know this beer is for me!)
•Pumpkin Pie (the best is made with soft vanilla ice cream)
•Pumpkin Bread
•Basically ANYTHING pumpkin!

Now I am hungry and ready to eat...
Eat and enjoy

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Fall Withdraw

I live in a desert. Leaves just die off of trees, they do not change beautiful colors and then fall. I am craving some fall activities, feelings, or just food. Here is what I have found for fall and why I just love it soo soo much.

In the future I am totally planning a trip to this festival!
http://www.pumpkinshow.com/
They also have pumpkin recipes for EVERYTHING possible on this page. and the WORLD'S LARGEST PUMPKIN PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fall Changing... is just beautiful. Here is a list of the top 15 places for leaves changing.
http://travel.msn.com/Guides/MSNTravelSlideShow.aspx?destinationid=&cp-documentid=380088

Household items in earth tones!
All of Crate and Barrel's fall line... and of course their cute festival details. Look at any of their room views on their dining tables! Makes me want to eat pumpkin and turkey! and cuddle in front of the fire place....

SWEATERS! and other fall clothes... I turn my ac on high and wear fall/winter clothes around my place because I want to soo bad!
Anthropologie has a "spice rack" inspiration this fall.. so cozy.. so warm...

I can't forget to mention the fact that new tv seasons start. Although what does it matter now that Gilmore Girls is over. I need a new series to watch. Although I think Beauty and the Geek is promising this year.

So in order to get my fill of fall. I am going to bake, wear sweaters, and take a trip up to Northern Arizona. See some leaves change and get some cooler temps. Plus double check our wedding location!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Drive Safe


This is going to be my brother, Andy in a few years. He is going up to Canada for his PhD. Good Luck BIG BUDDA!
Maybe you could put excuse my driving I'm Wyoming's Hottest Hottie on your car!
Love ya !

Thursday, August 02, 2007

What 16,777,216 colors look like

Look Here To see if you believe!

"That Cover is Naked"


Penguin Publishing has started a new "My Penguin" where you are able to create covers for classic books. Above is Ryan Adam's cover for Dracula. They had bands create "cover art" in order to help promote this new promotion for their publishing company. Overall I think that idea is clever because it allows someone to make something more personal to them and I enjoy how creative you could e with a book cover. Check out this link for more information and to order your copy today! :) http://www.penguin.co.uk/static/cs/uk/0/minisites/mypenguin/index.html
I must admit I am sucker for slogans and I really enjoy the one for this promo!

"THAT COVER IS NAKED
PUT SOMETHING ON IT"

Friday, July 27, 2007

New Obsession

Lately I have spend many hours look on http://www.etsy.com. It is something that reaches to my creative side and makes me want to buy a lot of homemade goodies. (Not cookies or baked goods but yet so many other delicious goods)
I enjoy the search by color sections. Any color but I haven't found that many promising goods through it although I do look at the most adnormal colors because I think that it awesome they are on there!
Enjoy! I don't have any favorites yet BUT soon I am sure that I will. It passes the hours when there are not any guests coming or going.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Beauty

If you truly love Nature, you will find beauty everywhere. -Van Gogh



Of course it is easy to find beauty in Yellowstone (where these photos are from). But much harder in the hot dry desert of Arizona. Yet each and everyday I try to find the beauty in the "weeds" around the building that I work at. I started reading Beauty The Invisible Embrace even though I am just lifting the cover it has helped me to see that there is beauty in everything and everyone. Wabi- Sabi is a beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. I agree with the Japanese in this aesthetic because beauty needs to be found in the unconventional in everything.
I hope you find beauty in these photographs and I hope that you begin to notice beauty all around you.



Friday, July 13, 2007

YellowCamping

June is over and it is now July... The middle of July.

So far July has felt like a summer month. I went on a little trip up to Wyoming and across the state to Yellowstone National Park. I saw geysers, mountains, trees and a lot of beauty.
Camping in Wyoming proved to be a challenge with winds that could "wrap you like a burrito" with the tent or waking up with Bison 10 feet from the tent. Although the s'mores were yum and the fire burned well into the night. It seems that the sky never did reach complete dark with all the stars in the sky.
My photos remain on my camera but soon I hope to share. Although I am not certain they can show all the moments that happen with you have an Australian terrified of bears.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Vegas.. what really happened

I recently went to Las Vegas, Nevada with my parents. I had been once before when I was younger but I didn't remember much of anything except how everything seem "HUGE".
Today Vegas is much of the same as I remembered it. The hotels and casinos were huge. I felt like each were individual cities with places to eat, sleep, and play (meaning loose money). Although we tried to take in more than the casinos, it was hard because everything else costs lot. If you weren't shoving your money in machine with no chance at anything coming back at you, then you could throw your money into something else that was happening.
Although my peers told me, "You don't do Vegas with your parents, because it is all about drinking." I must say they are right if I that was all I wanted to do on a vacation, but I am much more an active tourist. It was hard to want to watch down the street because either porn was being handed to you or you were stepping in someones vomit from the night before.
Much to say I am not a huge fan of the "little place of everything" which Vegas imitates. I want places to form their own identity that I can remember when I go away from a place. Overall I had a good time in Vegas, I spent time with my parents and was able to throw a few of their quarters into the toilet.
The entire time we noticed that about 3 out of 5 people would have a sack (errr I guess they are called bags) from M&M World. My mother did not want to be left out of this trend, so hiked our way down there. Once inside were we disappointed from avoiding the porn handouts for the small store, only then did we discover it was 4 stories and it was no wonder why it seemed everyone on the streets had bags from there. There was so much of anything you had to buy something. My mom settled for selecting for own colors of M&Ms (9 bucks a pound) but she really only got about a dollars worth. But all in all... we came out with our own small yellow bag M&M WORLD -Orlando.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Do we have a Birthday here....

YES WE HAVE A BIRTHDAY HERE!!
Happy Bithday... Happy Happy Bithday... Happy Bithday...Happy Birthday.. YEAH!

Hope your 21 is a good one. It means you can legally drink and in AZ buy lottery tickets, and of course gamble with your Grandma!

Next turning point...25 when your car insurance goes down!

LOVE YOU!





Why do a nice photo when I have this one?!?!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Elllie

I have this habit. I name my house plants. Cloe the Cactus. Bert, Ernie and Grouch the Bamboo. The newest addition is Ellie the Elephant Foot Palm. I recommend getting one, she is beautiful.



I mean just look at her. So fun! I just need to re-pot it.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Time Warp













......7th Grade.... .....8th Grade....

And today after I got my hair cut.....

Okay so I am playing them up with a the curl and everything BUT ya know... I like the bangs when I fix them NOT like I did in 7th and 8th grade!

I am thinking that it was a good change. A needed change, but a change just the same.
Summer is here. The temps have felt like summer for months now, but now that school is out it is summer. I admit I have been enjoying lemonade, Popsicles, and soon peaches. Those are the 3 food items that mean summer for me.
I am still unclear of my summer plans... BUT they will figure themselves out soon, I just know. I am trying to be patient and get other things done to keep my mind off of it until the time comes.
I invite you all to jump into summer. To drink lemonade until your taste buds are sour, to eat a popsicle in the sun and try to finish it before it melts. Bite into a peach and have the juice stain a white shirt. But really.. make a change it is summer... It might be as simple as a hair cut.. or possibly making a weekly trip to a park. Add some bright colors around your place but mainly soak up the sun.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

ENGAGED!

My boy proposed! Wednesday May 9. I got a ring! It was really cute and sweet. They are glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling! Spelling Out will you marry me.




That is me celebrating with the entire bottle of champagne. See the shiny ring!


This is a photo of us! Not the same day but us the same.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Study escape




This weekend was mainly spend trying to recall the things I have "learned" or placed into my short term memory and now need to restore again for the last exams of the semester.
I was able to escape a bit from the notebooks of reviews. I had to in order to make it through.
I made some banana bread and muffins. It is my mom's recipe and I must admit the BEST recipe out there. It is soo soo good.. The photo is just after the bananas are put with everything else awaiting their fate of being all mixed up.
I also made it to the park, a different one than last Sunday afternoon. This weekend we went to Papago Park. It is very close to the Phoenix zoo, and Botanical gardens and has mostly desert plants and scenery. The main attraction are the rock formations, the one in the photos is "Hole in the Rock". Although the first time I went to see it, I was unaware that there man-made steps up the back of it, so my brother and I climbed up the rocks, wondering the entire time how the little kids at the top managed.
The Saguaro is the cactus that holds that Arizona state flower. I must admit that when I choose this park for the afternoon I was hoping for more natural color from flowers but really the state flower was about all I could find. There were a lot of palm trees around all the "fishing holes" and massive fish in them. Although the water is soo nasty in the "lakes/ponds" I would not dear to eat the fish for fear of gross polluted things the fish ate.
I will stop putting photos together.. it is just not working out how I want it too.. But yeah at least there is a REALLY blue bowl!!

Monday, April 30, 2007

Janelle needs..

I saw this idea from withsprinklesontop.blogspot.com, who got it from someone else... I am slow so it took me a few googles to figure it out..
But this according to Google.. Janelle needs (in other words I googled Janelle needs and found the following)
•I need to win.
•I need to take one for the team.
•I need a liiiifffeee! (this one could be true)
•I need an investment banker so that way I won't have to steal what I want...
•I need a perm. (I will stick to just a haircut!)
•I need to take her to the final. (Is this my lucky her, because I do have finals.. 4 next week actually AW)
•I need to start participating. (I should I think this would make a lot of things a lot better.)
•...carriage driving. (I could go for this just because I would then be in New York and it is not as stinking hot there!)
•Janelle needs to get closer..
•I need my constant companion. (YES YES I need a dog!)
•I need more blog posts in my blog...(this one is more likely than not TRUE!)
•Janelle needs to go

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Afternoon at the (manmade) Lake

well the color came in a bit off... but still I loved the ducklings! They were adorable! Of course the turtle sunbathing always gets my vote too...
I will fix the colors and repost later!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Paint it all orange!



Today marked the first of the Suns playoff games...
At the game we received orange shirts. It was an entertaining game. You can tell that we were very high, in fact a row short of the top but hey!
The first Picture is Boris Diaw- #3... He came out before the game and shot around. That was when we were sitting down on the floor seats, before we had to move up to seeing everything but the players.
The second is from the top when they were introducing the Suns starting line up. Notice all the orange shirts.

I was reading my old blogs posts and I thought about the blogs that I really like.. Ones that have a lot of things that they have created, made, or drawn...
So that is what I am going to work on getting more on here... but I must say.. I am getting a lot more photos up!
Phoenix is being painted orange with "Eyes on the Prize"

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Green stains on the bottom of my feet.

My heart and prayers go out to those anyway impacted or touched with VT.

I love to run barefoot in grass. There isn't much grass around here (which I believe is a good thing) but when I am around it.. I take my sandals off and run. Or I love to spin in circles until I am soo dizzy I fall into the grass. Just the feeling of the cool grass on my feet..
The other day on my bike ride the chain fell off my bike... we stopped to put it back on, next to a patch of grass... as my boy was tugging at my chain I ran... barefoot in the grass...
He look over at me and just smiled...
This is how I came to the conclusion to name my blog after this... Barefoot in the grass..

I have photos on the camera that will bring this to life for you... Now to get them on the computer.... the time will come..

Off to drink tea and read Freakonomics... not my first choice of book but turning out to be interesting.

In spirit of my blog's new identity... I encourage you, when you see a patch or lawn of grass... take off your foot wear and spin around in the grass until you are so dizzy you fall down!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Big man... on a bike...

First I have to admit that I was an idiot and forgot to change the ISO of my camera.. so all of my Spring Break photos are not that great of quality. Maybe next time I will not be so dense when I am OUTSIDE! In the like totally SUNNY SUN!
But I really am beginning to think that I should be at Northern Arizona University. I think this guy is more my style than some little cartoon by Walt Disney.
This photo was in Flagstaff. I wanted to see a bit of their campus so before we left for the Grand Canyon we went there and saw this amazingly tall DUDE!
I enjoy being a tourist...
Because
----You can take photos with everything and people just think you have never seen anything like it before. If I go back to NAU's Campus, I plan on dressing like this Lumberjack and retaking a photo with him.
----Also you can wonder aimlessly and never have a fear of getting lost. You can always ask for directions.

I took a break from writing this so I could go for a bike ride. We needed some things to make our dinner complete.. so instead of dealing with the traffic, we rode. It was a perfect evening for a bike ride. The air has a chill to it today.
My suggestion for the night..
go for a bike ride.. and come back and drink some tea.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Take Time


Everything makes a lot more since.. when I am sitting back drinking tea. I am not sure how it does it.
•I have taken the time to know that I might not land the internship of my dreams, but that doesn't mean once that the wrong one will lead me to have many chances to know what I the perfect job for me to land is.
•That you don't have to get up earlier in the morning to accomplish the simple task of eating breakfast, just save water (time) and take a shorter shower.
•When you experience new creative outlets, your entire life becomes more creative.
• Things make more since to me in list form.
•Remember to drink tea about an hour before bed... For the simple fact of bad dreams, and having to wake up to pee!

I think that I have just been so stressed the past few weeks, worrying about nothing that I should be.
I heard a quote tonight on Extreme makeover Home Edition (the about 4 minutes I watched it) that really hit me...
"Lots of things to think about, but nothing to worry about."

Now that I am drinking me tea.. It really makes me think about how there is nothing to worry about... that worry just drives holes through my stomach lining and makes me feel stressed about so many things I can control.
I didn't take a nap today. My second Sunday in a row without a nap! I must say I didn't take one because I was accomplishing task after task... now that I am taking time I know that if I had taken a nap, I would not have finished a lot of other tasks that were for enjoyment today.

I posted the photo because when I took this photo I was taking time to enjoy everything. I was in San Diego for the first (and only) time. I really longed to just take time and enjoy all the sites and smells. I had not seen the ocean in years so I loved to the tide pools. Listening to the crashing waves.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Sitting up on a branch

I am in one those situations again. The ones that I think I am going to loose my mind. My thoughts are jumping all over the place, my stomach is hungry and wants to be fed. I can't sit inside and still any longer. I don't want to be in the place I am at, but yet on this hot spring day I must.
I tried to keep my mind busy, I still try. I played games against people on the internet. I searched for summer internships. I even read the most creative blogs I know. I have also been searching for Easter Dinner Recipes but yet I am a little bit closer each and every moment to not having much of anything left at all.. or at least having to chase after my mind as it is far ahead of me as I am typing this.

I want to be climbing a tree.... sitting at the top looking down at the ground... feeling that I have conquered it.... I want to sit there and eat the fruit that is one it (Arizona you know... some dry oranges, lemons, or grapefruit).... Just to feel the juices as they touch my finger tips... I really just want to get out a the box of windows I am sitting in.. have my senses become aware of things that are totally around them.. to experience more than the keys of the computer, the phone and the pen... I am to be away from technology.. up in a tree...breathing in fresh air... feeling nature...

Today is Good Friday... It is the day that Jesus was put on the cross.. Bad Friday for him.. Good Friday for us who believe.
I feel like I should be honoring him today by climbing a tree...
I want to go to the Good Friday Service tonight, where they will be talking about the 7 things Jesus said on the cross... I think it would be interesting to have it all taken apart... to really know what was behind each statement. Very powerful...

I am out of this box soon... soon I will climb a tree... the problem is that I only have palm trees at my apt, not much to sit on up there...

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Self Simple

A friend just told me that blogs were dangerous...
I assumed because someone could steal my identity, that is what a lot of people try to bring me to fear. But this was his statement....
" its proof that people are so painfully self absorbed that they really believe that another person on the planet gives a crap about what kind of Thai food they ate for dinner."

SO I if anyone wants to know I had General Tso's Chicken, made by ME!

But honestly I truly blog, for the love of writing that I have. I doubt that people even read this. I know that my brother used it. I like to express things that I normally would not say, I also used to be afraid of anyone seeing my writing. It is one form of a creative outlet for me....

Since I am self absorbed I am going to share the simple things that make me happy

"Simple things hold the secret" ~Carl Jung

•Rain hitting the window sill
•Milk Duds
•Hot Tea
•Loose Leaf Tea
•Waking up each more to "Judy and the Dream of Horses"
•Bamboo on my desk
•My day planer
•Ballpoint pens
•Cactus flowers
•Wildflowers
•Water bottles with straws (my Camelback one is super sweet)
•Setting goals and then changing because my thoughts change when accomplishing a goal
•Ponytail holders
•My jade rock necklace (oval rock on a string of hemp)
•Slipper socks
•Hours of conversation with people
•Staying in your pjs all day!
•Jeans that are worn many days in a row
•Plain colored shirts
•Having shelves that sit on the ground, instead on hanging on the wall
•Jazz Music (almost complex in style)

•Some many things I just can't name....

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

as a day might be... lovely

Once a year on this day, I have to let everyone I know how much I love them!
So I LOVE YOU all.

Isn't amazing how St. Valentine did that... got everyone to send cards to each other, eat chocolate, and have candlelit dinners. I am doubting that when he died that was his dream, but you never know. He could have owned Hallmark, Russel Stovers, or the first Melting Pot.

Instead of getting all mushy on you all. I am going to just say what I have said and move on to some new things.

I am going to do a lot more in my life.. like to build more new experiences of my life.
I am just not sure what I am going to do.. Anyone with any ideas, let me know.

I am sure that EVERYONE is wondering how I am doing on my new things I was going to try to do. Let me tell you... I am NOT very good with developing new things into my overly crowded life... I should have made one a way of simplifing my life...
But here is a short of how things are going..
I have NOT waken up early, not even probably one day.
I did 3 doodles... mainly because my class was boring, 3 days in a row.
Saving... will go better when I get my scholarhship.
I HAVE been drinking a lot more water... I honestly feel this just makes me have to pee a lot more... during the night usually... and then I have bad dreams and so on.
No new bands have been discovered (Send me some)
I have 2 more months for a weekend trip! OOO WAIT I planned one! I am going to Wyoming for a weekend in March. Not that exciting but something, and it will be cheap on my pockets.
I heard about Anna Nicole Smith, and the snow storms, and the lady that wore space diaper to kill another lady, and some local killings... somewhat current events I have been reading.
Going to the career fair tomorrow for the intern hunt
I made a card for my boy for today. and a birthday card for a friend... I guess those could count.
I have been studying for a test. Although I know I am not totally focused on school...

I must say I am doing better than I thought I would be. MUCH better!

Well Give someone a hug goodnight, and remember today I love you.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

From The Beginning

I have never been one to make New Year Resolutions. But the year is almost a month old now, and these are more like things I would like to accomplish soon. Basically this is my giant to do list!

•Wake up 15 minutes earlier each morning. (Eat Breakfast/ JOURNAL)
•Draw or doodle something every day. (Note to self: New sketch book)
•Dance!
•Save at least 50 bucks a month... Think Australia!
•Drink more water
•Listen to a new band a week.
•Take a weekend trip once every 2-3 months
•Keep up on current events
•Land a summer internship
•Start and FINISH more craft projects
•Focus on school

I basically want to add a bit more to my life... what can I say!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The season of snow

*I hope it snows this week, a snowflake on your cheek would make this Christmas so beautiful*
It is hard to be anything but beautiful. Snow is something that is hard to be explained for me. Frozen water drops, YET each has six sides, and each one is completely different.

I recently was at the mall (a consumer's paradise) and discovered that YES, even in the middle of the desert, with global warming taking place, there is snow. It is simply a powder that you add to water, and like magic you get the look and feel of the real beautiful thing. I was tempted to buy some and try it out for myself, BUT the price tag was about the budget of one person on my list.
I casually passed by, upset at the lame attempt on something so naturally beautiful.
I some how came this fake water-powder, and brought it into my home The difference between this stuff and the white stuff I love was clear. BUT honestly when something smells like plastic, it just doesn't like so beautiful on cheeks, or eyelashes.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

In a Blonde Daze

I have blonde hair. I have never dyed my hair blonde, it is all natural. I don't get offended easily and I must say proudly that I do not feel that I fit the stereotypical blonde. But I must admit that I feel like lately I am in a daze... a Blonde daze...

I painted my nails tonight. I only did it because I felt like I should do something that was girlie. This is after I cut out a pattern for the dress I am about to start sewing, and after I ate ice cream out of the carton. I must say that I am not girlie enough for colored nails. It could just be the fact that the color is nothing short of a shiny purple blue, but I think that it is past this hiatus color choice. I am constantly glancing down at my hands as I am typing because there seems to be something on them, or the keys but no it is just the color is a distraction.

I also finished a book to day. I might have to mention that it was about a oyouknow 7th grade reading level. BUT it was about a girl in college. The problem it was the 3rd in a series and I can't wait for number 4, which is a work in progress at this time. I also finished this journal type of novel in o about 3 days, and one of those I was working. I guess I can't explain the entire book, because it would prove that it was about a sex driven college aged girl that even have graduation from Columbia (in NYC) had no idea what she wanted to do to her life.

I am dazed. My mind is thinking of that stupid letter that is going to determine my future. It is the one with a return address from ASU. It seems to be arriving in everyone's mailbox but my own. So I daze around trying to keep busy not to think of it, not to wonder if I should actually figure a schedule for next year, or if I should just forget the rest of it. Should I sit in the front yard and chase the mailman when he is driving away if I do not have the letter in my hand.

So until I will sit and stay in a blonde daze and yet still not fit into that STINKIN stereotype.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

hand it my way

I don't think that I know the back of my hand very well. It has 14 knuckle type of things, a lot of lines and 5 nails. I am not sure where that expression came from. I mean Honestly if you could draw a picture of the back of your hand and have it look even half way as similar you are my new hero, my best friend. I think that is should be something like the scars on my knee. I got them when I was 5 years old. But even though I have had them 5 years less than I have the back of my hand, I could tell you about them a lot better. I know that much more than something that is as detailed as the back of a hand.

I hear someone used that phrase, or maybe it was in one of my beloved country songs but either way.... I know it like I know that back of my hand... Needs to be used when you don't know something rather than when you do.

I am shot for interesting thoughts. Shoot some may way if you have some.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Stuck in a Pit behide the wheel and ready to drive off

A coal mine is the one place that I don't feel like I belong, yet for the second summer in a row I find myself behind the wheel of a 240 ton haul truck. I can't say I am excited, however I can say that I need the money. I use the money to continue my education. I also learn to appreciate that my father as done this job for so many years to make life better for me.
The main reason that I feel like I don't belong here is because I long to be doing something creative. I would rather sit and render 20 drawings a day, or pick materials for an entire complex than sit and think about the road conditions, and if I need to slow down to provide more use on my tire.
It feels like I am stuck in a hole, or should I say a pit with the high walls coming down. There isn't anything that can dig me our except that fact that unlike the men and women that do this for a living, I will be able to go back to school and gain knowledge past how a wheel motor works.
I must say that anyone that can do this job for more than a few months has my up most WOW. I am also glad to know that their are those that will dig up this energy source, even if I complain now, I know that when I am sitting in the truck. It is my job and I will do it with the hopes the of future in the front of my mind.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

after the rain

In my hometown we have a bike path that runs with the North Platte River. It is a nice escape for the "city life" and into the nature environment- okay really just nice to see the river rushing by, the trees and allow my dog to run without a lease and not get yelled at for stepping onto a lawn.
The other night when I took Gabby down there for a walk, it had just rained on that side of town. (Interesting fact of Wyoming is that the weather is different in every step, it is very independent of itself) The smell of rain and fresh mowed grass was in the air, the entire time after our embarkment.
It was nice to go for a walk after the rain, once I got over the fact that my feet were numb, and bottom of my pants wet. I was able to see where the clouds had lifted and cleared a crystal sky of blue. There was also a half visable rainbow that a step down from the clouds. It was just a sky of beauty.
The path was wet, but the dirt around it was not the mud it normally is. It seems that all the world just came together.
It was an after the rain walk that lead me to see the beauty around me once again.
The setting sun was present when we finished the loop through the park. Even though Gabby did not enjoy the presence of other dogs, and even when she wanted to turn around half way like she always does, it is something to see how even she seems to appreciate the beauty of it all. The place that glory dwells

Friday, May 26, 2006

I sold my soul

I recently created more of a myspace profile, after I said I didn't. I am owned.

I have been thinking that if tomorrow is a brand new day, when what is today when it is finished.

Cheyenne Frontier Days (The DADDY OF THEM ALL) has a lot of big names coming to plan this year. Big name COUNTRY singers, what could be better. What I enjoy most about the idea of Cheyenne Frontier Days is that fact that it is bigger than the Wyoming State Fair. When I had to present my ID to someone in Arizona she asked me about Frontier Days. I was like well I have only marched in a parade for it, never been to it, but it is the BIGGEST celebration of the Old West.
Aww Yes the Fun in WYoming. Drunk Cowboys. Dust and Mud- that dang old rodeo.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Like Degrassi INTENSE!





OKAY OKAY I KNOW! I went to see what happened on the ONE episode that I missed of Degrassi. I just HAD to! But then The N always has dorky quizzes. I thought I would share my results. I thought it was nice to be an indie film. I mean next I might send you a Degrassi video postcard! O YEAH it GOES THERE!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Wasted Space and Time

I am not going to lie. I am on myspace ( http://www.myspace.com/nelfer) and facebook.

It is a waste of time. Both sites. It does give people a part of me but these pages don't really show exactly who I am. They give parts and pieces but really a false image overall. I spend some wasted time on myself today. Just looking at people's pages. Thinking that I will waste time doing this again and again.

so overall it these sites have millions of members and visitors to them each day. When I would go to the library or the computer lab that is what most people would be looking at. I am not sure that I would say I am that into. I am pretty embarrassed to look at my page or anyone else's in public. I could be called a closet myspacer. I will use it on my own computer but that is all. I haven't added fancy colors, or songs to my page. I just try to keep things simple.

One day I tried to delete my page. It was to hard, I got sucked in to looking at my friends. I wanted to know what everyone was up to. I just don't like giving people a part of me. I want them to know ALL of me. I do tell things, and I do show myself. But it isn't like you can really get the person I am from a few things I like, and a few I don't.

I hate when people tell you who they think they are. I am sure that I do this, but I just can't stand it. I am a down to earth girl who loves to hug trees. It is like telling people that they need to see these characteristics in you that you think you have.

But what can I say. I am attached to knowing that someone might have left me a comment, or that I can see who is doing what. Overall I can just say that I am into it. I will waste much time with it. But I will work on showing more of who I am and not tell who I am

Saturday, May 06, 2006

focal restart

The time has pasted, and I am here again. I bring myself back to a place of comfort when things start to change. Back to a place where I can change a face, and let the time that has slipped by be left in place. I can pick up right where I left off, because my writing doesn't change, just the person that is writing it has.

Summer is coming. I assume I will be writing more to pass the time. It does feel that time sits still when I write, but the clock never fails me to change the hands around. A normal occurrence when you are in a comfortable place.


I changed the background, because I am much simpler than the green. It was overpowering the person that needs to shine through. That is something I am a lot more aware of these days, who to let what needs to shine through, come through.

I went shopping today. I don't have money to spend, and with the credit cards bills piling up, was it truly something I needed to do. But I went just the same. I was waiting in the dressing room, where a girl had a shirt and was trying to find the perfect top for it. It was a stripped shirt, lots of layers of cloth, but simple colors. She tried a white shirt on with it, and then a tan one the same style. I noticed that the white was to bright for the shirt, it took away from the already busy shirt that should have been the eye catching factor. She asked me what color I liked better, and I told her what I thought. She was like thanks that is a great point, I love this shirt and want people to notice it over my top that needs to just be simple.

I think that I do that a lot. I forget what is most important, I draw a lot of sparkle and flash into the smaller things trying to make them just as important, but truth is things do need to stand out.

I purchased a shirt today. It is pot-a-dot of all bright colors. The back is open with the top and bottom connecting. You need to just where a tank top under it. I was think about when I was buying it how the tank top would bring out whatever color I felt was the most important at the time. It was just a simple shirt, but it will focus more attention.

I have learned about emphasis in design. It is drawing the attention to a specific area, or feature. It can be done in many ways, just like it can be done in life. I feel that with the white simple background. My writing is the most important part.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Glances through a straw

As I sit and drink the world through a straw, I see my life in clear view. Above my desk I have magnetic strips on which I keep important paper, or things I will loose if they are not right in front of me. I was leaning back admiring all my life. I noticed what I had up there, and couldn't help but think that it was my life.
It is colorful. organized, easy to see when something is wrong, and it is full of expressions. There are many different colors that encompass the wall. Organized in the fact that the things I need to look at the most are right by my monitor and then things I don't need to notice as often are farther away. It is easy to see when something is out of date, or not in the location it once was, or if I have forgotten something it is easy to see that I should have taken it. Expression of my life. Up there is my class schedule, spring break plane details, contact information for organizations, the portfolio information for ASU and CSU, a few photos of friends, 25 dollars to Amazon, plus a few other coupons to local places. It is my life in front of me.
I am not sure what I share it like I do, or if it helps to give me the feeling I know who exactly I am, when I really don't/ Perhaps it is the fact that I am "freakishly" organized and having things at a glance help to keep me motivated. The only thing is I am not sure.
I am not sure if I could drink my world through a straw. The chunks of worry might get in the way.
Worry that I won't find my class, miss my plane, forget to contact someone about an event, NOT GET INTO UPPER DIVISION, or know what to spend my gift on.
I suppose I won't open the umbrella until it starts to rain.... or I won't suck harder until I know there is a chunk in the straw.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

12 months..12 minutes

Looking back on 2005 seems like a way to reflect and really come to see what happened in a year...

Jan---
Thought about how it was a New Year, and much like the Death Cab for Cutie song, I didn't feel any different. It was the weeks of wasting away in Wyoming, wearing snowpants for about 2 weeks straight until it was back to school time.

Feb--
Really started into the overwhelming time of 2nd semester at a huge university. I tutored preschoolers, and fell into the thoughts of feeling for others.

March--
Figured I should step up my school, and get more into my classes. Went back to Wyoming for a week, at Spring Break to snow and preschoolers. Found out that I was getting better at drawing, but it was still a skill that I needed to work on. I know in 2006 know that I still need to work on it.

April--
Started the first "romantic relationship" of college. Discovered that allergies are a year round event in Arizona, and that meds are the only way to not want to rip your eyes out or to be able to get through things..

May--
Finished the first year of university from Arizona State! Look back on dorm life with the feeling of NEVER going back. Took a week break and began training for a summer job...

June-July-beginning of August
Days and Nights spent in a rotating shift work schedule of driving haul drive at a coal mine. Learned to sit for hours, and drive in circles. I figured out how my mind wonders but was also able to have some time that focused thoughts that helped my mind grow with ideas of future products.

Late August
Returned to Tempe for 3 semester at ASU. Moved into an APT, and build a room of IKEA furniture. Discovered more than I would have liked to about what an organized freak I am. The dreaded semester began...

Sept-Oct-Nov-Mid Dec
Consumed my self with school. Did hours of drafting and drawing. Built first projects that were 3D. Discovered that people were dropping the major because of the dedication it took. I was remind that I was passionate about design, and thing it could do..

Late Dec
Spent my time on my parents couch in Wyoming. Covered with a red and green blanket, and a remote in hand. Got out with friends a max of 5 times... thought about doing something, but truly lacked motivation


2005 was a year that brought more to my life that I could think of. I did have experiences that affected my life, and changed how I thought of things. I saw how the earth was being used at the coal mine and how it needs to be helped or it will quickly become nothing.
I discovered how easy it is to fall off the planet, or at least one person's plant. It is like hiding yourself into something and knowing that it will be something different.



I took time this break to read some of my old journals. It was interesting to see the person that I came from. I know I am the same with just things different. I have grown out of a lot of things, interests, or ideas. I also found that things are much the same with my habits and feelings. When I am busy I am happy, because I feel like I am needed and useful. It is also like I used to write, or create something for hours and loose track of everything, I still do this.
One year might not change a lot in my life, but it sure does give me a lot to look forward too...


2006 seems to be the year of surprises for me... being excited about trusting

This is the New year.... explosions off in the distance... problems with easy solution...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Holiday spills

Christmas is in the air... I can feel it now... I leave Arizona tomorrow and head back home. Something I have experienced lately though is how holidays can feel for those less fortunate.
I helped out at the Holiday Fun Festival this past Saturday. I got there early and helped inflate a ton of balloons to make an arch, and about a ton more for them to let go. (I was completely against this idea, I mean the birds tangled in strings, and the trash it would put back on the ground...but past that) As the song ended and the balloons flew into the air, all the children in the crowd cheered and had the smile on their faces like I would for my best Christmas gift. I then helped the children make Christmas cards. The older girls would read my nametag and yell Spanish at me. I would responded with I don't speak Spanish handing them the exact pattern they had asked me for. Then I was taking to one lady who had brought her nephew to the event. I asked this little boy if he would like to make a Christmas tree. The lady told me the only ones he had ever seen were in stores, or around town, never in his home. I gave a card for this boy, and a card for herself. The boy grabbed a different card from my hand. His smile when he took it was better than the balloons in the air. He hit at me and I tickled him. His aunt told me that she had never seen him open up to a stranger like that before. With the stolen card in his hand, he opened his arms wide and reach up to hug me. All he said was thank you, and then he grabbed my neck as I leaned down.
Things I have learned this holiday season---- mainly from attending events like A lighted boat parade, Zoolights, Holiday Fun Fest, and donated food, and my time are
-electricity costs more than the tree, and a tree without lighted bulbs isn't a Christmas Tree.
-Children, ages 3-5, enjoy Hot Chocolate-- not the special kind made for adults
-Sometimes 6 cans of Cranberry Sauces, and 8 cans of asparagus is to much to put into one food box.
-People want to pay you back if you have done something for them.
-If a kid doesn't see there dad much, he is still going to be the one that the Christmas card is made to.
-Buying a gift for one of the names that hangs on the tree might not change the world, but it can change the world of that one child who got a gift for Christmas.
-Traditions are for those who have had a past that is worth remembering
-Balloons flying in the air might be something I am against, but it sure can make a crowd cheer.
-Holiday shoppers don't care if you found the right gift, if they have it first.
-Students stress more about finals when they don't have to worry about getting home for Christmas, of if their plane will be delay due to snow.
-Everything tastes better in green and red
I have really learned that no matter the circumstances of the family, or person everything will be set aside so holidays can be celebrated.
One thing I have also come to find it is that knitting is done best when a Christmas movie is playing and hot chocolate is on the stove...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

"Time to Say it , Time to Say it...Goodbye, Goodbye"

It is one of the hardest things to loose someone from your life. It is something when they are your age, and not just an elderly person you knew.

Time to say it...
I have memories with these people. I have regrets of how I treated them. I know there are a thousand things I could have done for them, but never did. But I also have the funny memories, and the times that will live on through the photographs-- I miss that time!

Time to say it...
I feel like I should be someone else right now. I should be in the place that I grew up, the place that reminds me of them, with the people that need a shoulder to cry on. It is time to say that I should have put school, and money to the side and gone to Wyoming. I feel today that I should be somewhere else. I couldn't even handle going to my afternoon class.

Goodbye, Goodbye
Goodbye to my friends. Goodbye.


It is more real today than since I heard. It is real that I don't be able to hear Casey's laugh, or Josh truck driving in front of my house. It is real that people are saying their goodbyes, and having closure in the town that raised us all.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Spillover DTR

I am in the middle of studying for a test that I have on Thursday, in my Leisure and the Quality of Life class. (Side Note) It is a recreation credit that counts towards my minor of tourism. I was just reviewing the benefit factors of having leisure in one's life. I was trying to look at people I knew and relate them to the different categories in order to remember them better. It made me look at how I am living. I am totally emerged in school. It is leisure for me though. I can reach the level of "flow". It is a right side of the brain activity, and it is one of my favorite, so it is a good thing that I am spending a lot of time with it.
This is the type of work you want to have, one that overlaps with your leisure. My problem with this is that I don't feel like I have a lot of anything else. Reading about the Spill of theory: where my work and leisure are basically equal, I know that I will be able to each eudaimonia (a full life lived well that has each of the partial goods-- bodily, social, wealth, external, pleasure, soul). I suppose that I just need to work on staying active, and "playing games".
It is something to think about though, just working on balancing more leisure into one's life. I never thought of it as more than "free time" before since I am totally into school, and school work.

Something else I have been thinking about a lot is how people define relationships. DTR-define the relationship. I am beginning to think that it is totally something that everyone should do, because it tells you want the other person thinks of the relationship, where it should be going for them, or they want it to go, and also it just helps to rebuild trust. I am beginning to think that it would be more helpful for friendships than "romantic" relationships. If you were to sit with a friend and talk about your relationship, parts that need to be worked on, or even the parts you enjoy- that friendship is going to be one that grows a lot more than one that hasn't one that but just struggles through the differences, and fights.
The disadvantage of DTRs is when the people don't see the relationship that same way, it can end the relationship all together, or get them on the same page. It is overall a plan. So have a DTR today!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

weekend above

This weekend I should have been doing homework like crazy... In fact I should still be doing it right now... BUT I am not. I figure I have a good start on it, and in fact I am doing well with it.
I don't usually give details of my life, but I want to share my weekend, not that I don't have something to say about each thing I did... so it really is more of a reflection on the weekend just the same...

Friday night...
I skipped my first class.... I am still amazed that I did it. I doubt that I missed anything, yet I don't know if I did or didn't.. I just know that once you miss one, it is easier to miss another... BUT I am not going to do that. I know I won't.
I skipped for the reason that if you went to the fair before 5 it was 5 bucks... Yes that is correct the Arizona State Fair. I am still not sure what I thought about it. It was like the Wyoming one that I am used to. The main difference was the size of course. The rides still looked like they were going to kill an innocent child, and I am sure the carnies smelt the same. The vendors were selling the same things, except there was a much more south of the boarder here, Wyoming is more Cowboy. I was very upset about the petting zoo. It was all exotic animals. The poor ones that will never be able to live on their own. I was okay, until we got to the last animal, it was a Kangaroo. It was laying there like a baby bird that had fallen. Misery was all over its body. The muscles in its legs were hardly developed. I must say the "Trip to the Farm" was a good experience for city kids. It was unrealistic but it gave a good idea of animals, even if goats were the focus animal. I watched some Native American dances... and pig races. The entire time I was having empathy for the animals. It was hard to not let them all get out an run.
We then went over to my "old lady" friend's house. She is an amazing woman, and her husband and her are so welcoming. It was such a good time to spend time with her, and just talk to someone like a grown-up and not be treated like a child. Her husband took my boy, and had him watch football--- the kitchen was for women. A game of dominos, a bowl of ice cream later we were back on the way down home.

SATURDAY:::
After about four hours of sleep, I got myself redressed, and went off to meet up with some friends. We then made a quick stop for some coffee and donuts, and then it was off to the HOT AIR BALLOON SHOW. I must admit this was my favorite part of the weekend. I took a ton of pictures, and in Nov. I will post some (my flickr space for Oct. is full). There were about 40-50 balloons in the sky at once. It was just not a site you get to see often. We watched from the side of the road, and didn't get to go up into a basket or anything, but was just something to experience. I am not sure why it was so awesome, but it totally was. It really made me want to do something adventurous. (more on this... once I can share photos)
I then came back for a nap...
I didn't feel like doing homework all day and night, SO I then totally went to dinner with my boy. It was at a Mexican Restaurant that I had a buy one get one free meal at. It was decent... The exciting part of the meal, was when my little baby cockroach friend joined us on the table... We then questioned with we were eating, but both of us cleaned our plates. We then drove to get ice cream, at my favorite ice cream place ever. It is called the Sugar Bowl. It has been around for about 50 years. We were eating our ice cream, and just enjoying the talking of the older people in the place. It was funny when 3 ladies sat across from us, and complained about almost everything. One was saying how it brought back memories like crazy because that is where for grandma would take her. It still feels like you are in the 50's when you enter into the pink palace!
Thinking that I really should get some homework one, I rented "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" I have been wanting to see it since it came out. I read the book about 5 years ago, but I just recently read the 3rd Summer. It was similar to the book, and I was not disappointed. It left out some details that were important for the sequels, but I doubt they will have movies of the others. I got work done, and I still was able to do something that I didn't feel totally lame for a Saturday night.

SUNDAY:::
Church this morning, lunch with college group.... homework..

Can I tell you that I am going to go and finish reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". It is a really good book. Young Adult Section. It is a quick read, and it really makes you think that you don't understand everything about the pain that people have in them. You just don't understand unless you are them.... I suggest it. Makes you think about the shy kid in your classes and why they did what they did. I guess it helps you to want to reach out more...

I will post pictures, and a paper on my hometown soon..
I am going to the Ace of Hearts for Halloween... really for Fall Festival, because that is all I am doing for tomorrow night, maybe wear it while I do homework... It is a super cute then! My roomie is the Ace of Spades!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

When the rain comes

It rained. It finally did. I had my window open last night and I just listened to it as I fell asleep. I thought it was going to rain more today, and it did. I love the rain, so I didn't take my umbrella just my rain jacket. As I waited for the bus to come there was a steady stream of rain, and then it started to pour down when I could see the bus down the road. I was soaked when I finally got onto the bus. the bus had the AC on, pointed right at the sit I choose to sit in. Much to say it doesn't seem like a day to get warm after you get wet.

I love to listen to Third Day's song "When the Rain Comes" each and every time it rains. I think it adds to the experience of the rain falling.

There was a rainbow yesterday. the colors were so true. You could see each and everyone of them.

The rain makes me look to the sky more often. It is so cloudy now, compare to normal, and you can see beauty. It isn't the crystal clear life that seems to be made. My fascination for the sky comes back, because when there are clouds, or rain... anything but blue it adds to it. I could sit and watch it for hours.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

I punched God in the face

I punched God in the face....
The thing is I have done it more than once.
The amazing thing is...
He comes back for more...
It is like he blocks each and every punch I throw.


I think think about this sometimes... Think about how hard it would be to forgive someone that punched you in the face, because MAN that would stinking HURT!
I then thing of the marks it would leave... The bruises and scars maybe even a broken nose...
Blood or cuts...

I am glad I don't get punched in the face... It is an awful thing... yet I punch God in the face...
and He comes back for more... never leaving my life...

Thursday, October 06, 2005

"Black Boogers"

Pushing the strap of the clean vinyl lunchbox back onto my shoulder, I reach for the door handle of expectations. My mind is racing as I re-read the sign: Training In Session.. 1-2-3, I count in my head; fighting heavy eyelids, I open my green eyes. Yellow hardhats sat on the tables in front of backbreaking chairs. I breathe out with a sigh, and choose a chair, knowing it will be my fate for the next twelve and a half hours. The indoor-outdoor carpet barely seems suitable to place my new lunchbox on. I fear that I will never find the gray and black box again in the years of coal dust, and dirt that had been packed into it. You can’t tell the original color, or tell if there is carpet there at all. Now that I am seated, I have sleepiness even more.
Against my every intention, I turn around when I hear a mucusy throat cough from behind me. He used every effort he had to smile through his untrimmed gray speckled facial hair. I smile back as I brush my hair from my face, but quickly stare down at the ground. I notice my out-of-the-box steel-toed boots. I follow the ground over to his worn, and steel exposed boots. I am then again reminded I am a beginner. I have no experience; I am merely here thanks to my father and the years he has contributed to this company.
It doesn’t seem like your average summer job for any teenager, but the coalmine was my work site. Around an hour and fifteen minutes from my hometown, at Jacob’s Ranch Mine was where my father helped to get me on. During the summers, the coalmines in the Thunder Basin of Wyoming hire college students to work in the office, clean in the shop, or drive 240-ton haul trucks. When it came down to the money, I choose to drive haul truck. Although my dad works out at the mines, we were placed at different mines owned by the same company. My dad did not like this idea at all. Out at the mine there is a different way of life, and he did not see how his baby girl fit into it. He prepared me by telling me to remember it was only a few months, and through stories I had heard throughout the years. My dad didn’t think that anyone could be completely ready for a job of driving an oversized Tonka truck for a twelve-hour shift, much less be prepared to enter into a coalmine of middle-aged men. After my first day of training, I was not sure I was ready for it either, especially when we could climb around the truck like a toy at an amusement park.
Not being able to reach the top of the tire even on my tiptoes, arm to full extend aids in the process of my stomach acid turning and twisting so much I think it created a pretzel. “Check to make sure all the lugs on are. Run with two missing, unless they are next to each other. Got it, girl?” Todd yells over the top of the engine as he faces the tire, and doesn’t even turn to face me. I nod expecting him to see it, even though I don’t understand the difference. Two is two, isn’t it? He glances over his shoulder. I return an understanding smile back at him. I understand more about Todd than the tire. The wrinkles that his serious smile brings are years of knowledge about this job , of little challenge; it shows the joy of his family on days off, and the hardship his body has endured from the rotational shift work. These are the wrinkles like those I would touch with my finger, as my dad would come in late at night to make sure I was asleep. Staring at a tire of a 240-ton haul truck was not what I wanted to be doing this summer afternoon, but Todd with his skills, and his out going personality brought the day alive for me. I was no longer only a rider in this truck of my fears, but now I was beginning to take the wheel. I still had many days of ride/drive training left, but none of them would be with Todd.
“Hey Jesse, what is that YELLOW hardhat doing in your window?” a scratchy voice comes over the little black box that sits on the dash. A green number, 2075, flashes on the screen, as I turn to see the reaction from a guy I just met about five hours ago. Through his smile, I feel like I can read his thoughts.
“Do you get offended easily?” His gap toothed smile asks. I shake my head no, but wonder why. He reaches for my bright and shiny yellow hardhat. “Well if you are lying, turn and look out the window, not my direction. Impossible for me to be able to just look the other way, when I knew somehow this was going to involve me, and that yellow boundary. As truck 2075 cruised closer, Jesse began to move my hardhat up and down, in and out of his lap. I felt the laugher start with a snort. In the perverted part of my mind, Jesse pretending I was giving him some pleasure captured what this day of ride/drive training seemed to not say.
“ It don’t work like that, buddy. She is too much for you.” 2075 remarks after this awkward scene is presented. I am not thrown by this talk like many other nineteen-year-old girls would be. This would be dinner talk around the table. My brother and I would be talking about whose poop would be the chunkiest, or otherwise the whip cream would be flying through the air. My mom would be pick at whatever the delight was she made that evening, counting the time down to when she could leave the chaos. My dad would just tell us to knock it off, or slam his face back into the book he was reading. It was a story I could share with everyone at the table, and get a laugh out of each self-focused person there.
I experienced the coalmine, before the day I stepped into the training room. My hometown is built around the railroad, and coalmines. The requirements for these jobs are the same; skills that come over time on the job. I grew up in this type of culture with blunt, distasteful talk, much like the “locker room” talk of males. To create a shift at the mine it was usually around seventy-seven people are on at a time. Out of this seventy-seven somewhere between eight and twelve would be women. None of which are lady-like, or could be identified as different from the guys. The men did not look down on the women working there, nor did they treat them any different than each other. The only thing is that it has spread through the community, not been controlled by the metal gates of lockers.
The man of the house are the not only ones with these values of the mine, but the community is not what you would imagine from a small town. Working at the coalmine is a job any people have, because you can get hired on with no experience but make enough money to support your family, plus medical benefits. Out at the mine, I was encouraged to go back to school, not get pregnant until I am married, and to marry for money at least the first time. They men seemed to give me advice like I was their own daughter, since our coworkers become your second family. The men out there did not want a young girl to end up like them, unhappy and having to do a mindless job day after day. More than anyone, my dad did not want me to.
“You got family working out here, girl?” John questions me as we stand like rocks carefully placed in a circle, waiting for the kick-it-to-start-it reused short bus on my last day of work for the summer.
“My dad works at Antelope.” I responded without hesitation. It was the question I had been asked multiply times throughout the summer, it was a no thinking answer by now.
“Bob Curtis, is it?”
“Yes, that is my dad.”
“Farmer Bob. O man, that is what they called him. What does he do out there nowadays?”
“He drives truck.” I am set on my answer. Knowing that this summer, I had the same level of position in this dirt hole that my sixteen-year experienced father still does. I was celebrating my last day of a mind-numbing job of driving twelve and a half hours a day, in half circles. It was the life of a coal miner, something I didn’t want to do the rest of my life, but that I knew many, including those standing in front of me, were submitted to until retirement could reach them.
The wrinkles on their faces, the “miners’ guts”, and the struggling to pay their bills was all they would have to show for the years of hating their job. Looking onto my father’s grease stained jeans, and his dirt smudged face, when I get home, I know that my dad will celebrate with me the fact that I don’t have to work out there with him but will get an education. When I see the wrinkles deeper on his face when he comes home from a twelve-hour day, I will be able to say, “ Someday daddy… someday you won’t have black boogers anymore.”



This was my first english paper this year.... good old Coal Mine....

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

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LINES
Originally uploaded by jjjanelle.
When I said a while back that school controlled my life, this is why I wasn't kidding. LINES... horizontal lines that get densier and heavier as you go down the paper. In sets of eight with 1/8" between them.
This photo can not show the pain... the thicker lines are just made up of more thinner lines. I suppose you could say after 6 times I would have it by now... but we will see.
I took more photos of them, but I enjoyed this one the best EVEN with the top corners.... at least I don't post a ton of photos of my boyfriend all the time.

I am looking for another job. I applied for some earlier this year, but now I need one more than ever. I love the job I have and I am not goint to quit that, but just maybe a weekend or tues/thurs morn one would be nice. We will see what I can find.

Should be a fun search.... I am thinking Work Study for one reason... I will be able to get the time off I need to because they are based on school schedule.. YEAH!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

park my mind

I went to the Coyotes games last night. It is the NEW NHL preseason. We sat lower level, and the tickets were free. It was interesting how being that close to the ice, and everything it wasn't any colder than and air conditioned building anywhere else. The NEW NHL has a few more rules. The Coyotes lost, but that was alright because there was a lot of fights, well not a lot but enough to make it count.
The only downfall of going to this game was the fact that it was WAY WAY WAY far away. I thought I had actually gone to far, and pasted the exit. When I had thought this, it was only about 5 miles more. The bonus to having to go so far was okay because I got on one interstate and went.
When we got there, parking was free (added bonus) and there was a shuttle to the gate (even though we ended up walking back to the car after the game because it wasn't that far at all).
Between periods I wanted to go and look around the building. I wanted to see how this place was designed. I must say the women's bathroom had good design! We then discovered a rather large model of sorts. Looking at it I wasn't clear what it was, then I heard a man tell his son that this was how it was going to look soon. Come to find out they are finding the Cardinals stadium up there, along with a LARGE shopping center, a conference center, and more. A hotel section, residential and parking spaces to hold enough for the 2 stadiums.
At first I was glad that they were having combined parking, so that our land doesn't have to be a paved place, but really one the way back I didn't see the need for the shopping center plus. There was so much of that one the way back down the interstate.
Urban Sprawl is all that Phoenix is, but I didn't see why they had to this complex. It was an under developed land, but so is much of the land around the city. They are even planning on moving the interstate to accommodate this new WestWridge (think that is what it was called) project. The building designs seemed to be structural pleasing, but why not do the residential place unto of the shops, instead of a completely new area. The shopping area is outside shops, which is good for AC purposes, but still has a water feature. I thought we were in the desert in a drought, but what pleases people is water so why not please them, so the spend more money.

There was a lot more that could be done with this to make it create less urban sprawl, but I suppose the bright side is the parking.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

thanks for reading

When I was leaving class today, a guy held the door open for me. Without thinking about it I said thank you. He seemed surpised, but replied with a you are welcome....
This as really gotten me thinking about how much the little we say go unnoticed, or are not said at all anymore. When I walk in front of someone that is looking for an item on a shelf at a store, I say excuse me. When I am dropped off by the bus, I say thank you. I suppose these are my small town roots coming forth, but still it seems that no one says them anymore.
There is the boy I tutor, and he always stays a little after to much sure everything is cleaned up. I have never asked him to, but yet he gives up some of this time to do it. I tell him thank you each time, but I don't think those words express that I really am glad he stayed to help me. Yet everything I thank him, his eyes light up, and he smiles without a response.
It makes me wonder if he ever hears these words. Does his mom tell him thanks when he has cleaned up after dinner? Will he know that the words are simple but yet true.
I remembering having to be reminded to say thank you, or please when I asked for something when I was little. It was pounded into me. I now catch myself saying "how do you ask" or "tell her thank you" as we walk away from something. Not just with little kids, but my peers. It seems this is the way to get these phases unforced from your mouth.


I will probably post the paper I wrote for my english class, soon. It is poorly written if you ask me, but it reflects on my experience this summer. I know that this summer I didn't write to highly of it, so it might be a way to look back on it with a bit more reflection. (my english class is called "Writing Refective Essays")

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

white towel

It doesn't seem like the end of September already, and the thought that I have not blogged yet this month is out of my mind.

School has taken over my life.

I thought about writting the other day when I was hit with this amazing insite about something new, yet I didn't.

It is fall right now, at least everywhere else it is. The leaves will be changing soon, but only the sun rays will fall here. More than anything right now I have been experiencing the fact that I miss the isolated land. We went swimming the other night,when the stars should be out, we counted about seven. I saw the sky, when the smog broke through just a second. The grass was wet the other morning, no mistaking sprinklers for dew.

Maybe this is why I am not so worried about school taking over my life.
There isn't beauty of the nature... so with my school work I have to create the beauty of the moment---drafting, drawing----
It doesn't seem like the end of September already, and the thought that I have not blogged yet this month is out of my mind.

School has taken over my life.

I thought about writting the other day when I was hit with this amazing insite about something new, yet I didn't.

It is fall right now, at least everywhere else it is. The leaves will be changing soon, but only the sun rays will fall here. More than anything right now I have been experiencing the fact that I miss the isolated land. We went swimming the other night,when the stars should be out, we counted about seven. I saw the sky, when the smog broke through just a second. The grass was wet the other morning, no mistaking sprinklers for dew.

Maybe this is why I am not so worried about school taking over my life.
There isn't beauty of the nature... so with my school work I have to create the beauty of the moment---drafting, drawing----